Monday, June 11, 2012

The Unsanctioned JRunners Half-Marathon Results

It was officially titled The 2nd Multi-annual Unsanctioned JRunners Half-marathon in Prospect Park Sponsored by Blue Crayola Sidewalk Chalk, and it was awesome.

On a day that featured Prospect Park's engorgement with every JRunner who ever lived (as proudly enumerated by Cub Reporter Mordechai Ovits), six of them toed the line for the half marathon, along the way were joined for several segments, loops, arcs and portions by the other JRunners in the park - including Chesky "Wrong Way" Rosenblum who clockwised high fives for two trips around - and finished at The Coliseum in the following order:

Moshe "Some Like it Hot" Gamss 1:30:56
Steven "Hot Blooded" Weber 1:34:20
Mordechai "Drop it Like it's Hot" Ovits 1:37:54
Mutty "Hot Legs" Katz 1:47:40
Sruly "Red Hot" Friedman 1:50:50
Martin "Feeling Hot Hot Hot" Bodek 1:54:13

As you might have surmised, the conditions were sweltering; blistering even. My thesaurus tells me it was also positively swiveting. Yet we all pushed on through and survived, some of us even thrived.

Some notes:

Gamss: Ran a negative split. A NEGATIVE split!!! That sounds like it hurts. Yes it does, for mortals - which clearly Moshe is not. And by the way? He PRed by 5 seconds.

Weber: ganvehed water from the abandoned water table from the "Get Your Rear in Gear" race (results for the curious: Nice coup. He also medalled again at the JRunners 2012 Olympics. His tally: 10 races, 7 golds, 1 silver, 2 bronzes.

Ovits: Had to drop Bodek after mile 4, and cranked out 7:16s all the way to finish. He claims he wouldn't have taken Weber had he done that pace for the first 4. I beg to differ. Not only did he earn his 1 placement point, but this was piled on after a morning in which he already biked 723 miles and swam 87. I tell you, this guy is tough.

Katz: Nobody with a do-rag in the park that day looked sexier than Mutty, including the one guy in the 25-pack peloton who seemed to insist his had the same protective power of a helmet.

Friedman: He pushed hard, and was shvitzing like the Banya at the foot of Coney Island (that thing still there?), but he never gave in. Great show.

Bodek: I do not do well in heat (yet I have Badwater fantasies, what's the matter with me?), was not feeling it after mile 1.2 and had thoughts of quitting. I've been running for 17 years, before Jews ever found Prospect Park, much less completely inhabit it. This was my 19th half and 165th race, and I'd be darned if this was going to be the first time I was going to quit. I'm very happy with my last place finish.

Looking forward to the 3rd Multiannual Unsanctioned JRunners Half-marathon! Jersey maybe?

Martin Bodek,
Beat Reporter,


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