Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Hadran Aluch Maseches Kesubos...

...v'hadrach alun.

This past Shabbos, I completed Maseches Kesubos. The learning was done, as the masechte before, in honor of my grandfather, Chaim Mordechai Ichel ben Moshe Betzalel, in this, the 50th year since his passing.

On to maseches Nedarim, which appropriately enough will finish on Purim. On Mordechai's holiday, Mordechi will I'YH complete a masechte in honor of Mordechai. :-)

Zoogt der heiligeh gemooreh...

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Philologos Answered My Question!

Guess my "media month" has been extended a bit!:

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Trotting Out an Old Chanukah Chestnut

I wrote this article two years ago. It hasn't become quite as popular as the others I've written and it hasn't been plagiarized at all (which I consider an honor of sorts), but 'tis the season (and it's day 8, so it's most appropriate), so why not attempt to revive the viralty (to coin a phrase) of this effort:

The Eight Days of Chanuka
Martin Bodek
(Published December, 2005 on
Jew Central )

On the first day of Chanuka,
My leebshaft gave to me
The fattiest sufganiyot that I’ve ever seen.

On the second day of Hannuka,
My zeeskeit gave to me
Two oily latkes
And the drippiest sufganiyot that I’ve ever seen.

On the third day of Chanukka,
My bashert gave to me
Three wiggly pieces of p’tcha,
Two slimy latkes
And the ooziest sufganiyot that I’ve ever seen.

On the fourth day of Hannukkah,
My aishes chayil gave to me
Four cubes of galleh,
Three slithery chunks of p’tcha,
Two greasy latkes
And the most lubricated sufganiyot that I’ve ever seen.

On the fifth day of Khanuka
My libby ivsoori gave to me
Five soggy servings of kugel,
Four wriggling chunks of galleh,
Three seeping pieces of p’tcha,
Two moist latkes
And the slipperiest sufganiyot that I’ve ever seen.

On the sixth day of Chanookuh
My shaifele gave to me
Six straight up bottles of oil,
Five sopping plates of kugel,
Four helpings of vibrating galleh,
Three dishes of soaking p’tcha,
Two sweaty latkes
And the clammiest sufganiyot that I’ve ever seen.

On the seventh day of Khanicha
My aizer kinedgi gave to me
Seven heart palpitations,
Six shortnesses of breath,
Five numbnesses in my left side,
Four bouts of dizziness,
Three fainting spells,
Two clogged arteries
And the most full-blown heart attack that I’ve ever seen.

On the eighth day of Hanuka
My doctor gave to me
Eight rounds of CPR,
Seven bypass surgery,
Six implanted stents,
Five defibrillations,
Four intubations,
Three angioplasties,
Two warnings to change my diet
And the hugest hospital bill that I’ve ever seen.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Mazel Tov! It's a New Knissue!

Always a good day when I launch a new issue of TheKnish. This is the e-mail I sent out to my list today:

Just in time for Ch/H/Qhan(n)uka(h)! <--- G'head! Click!

It's been a long time, hasn't it? Well hey, it takes a long time to give birth to a new Knissue! We tried it without an eppie this time, man it was tough going, but here it is! In accordance with tradition, the issue will be named on the last day of ch/h/q - uch, Festival of Lights. (This could ruin the surprise, but we'll probably go with "28.0", it has a certain ring to it). <--- No really! Click! We really want you to!

In this Knissue, we feature 2 articles by Yours Truly, 2 articles by the cerebral Yonah Wolf and 2 articles by the incomparably hilarious David Friedman (just so there's no ill will, David is also cerebral and Yonah is also incomparably hilarious). We're infighting about whose articles are better. We'll let you decide. Winner gets one angioplasty's worth of latkes and sufganiyot.

A sampling:

1) 60,000 LED Menorahs are Recalled!
2) Ahmadinejad receives the coveted "Yemach Shemo" title!
3) The winner of "America's Next Top Mohel" is announced! <--- Click! Last chance!

So drop by (you know you want to)! Send in your ideas (you know we want them)! Buy some merchandise (you can fulfill your dream of giving your spouse gifts all eight crazy nights)! Ah freilichen Chanukah (that's the spelling I'm familiar with. I'll stick with it)!

Martin Bodek(.com),